It is already 1st of February. A whole month went by, but it felt like only a few microseconds. When I look back, all I did was whining, being super dumb, narrowly escaping from making few blunders, and planning for trips that flopped. I was full of negativity and was <a href="http://Permit“>letting people play with my feelings. I was thinking of all the irrelevant, and outdated worries from years ago and cried till my lacrymal glands tired out.I was full of self-pity, confused, angry, tired and irritated.


This post was in the draft for the past few days, and now when I look at it, seems entirely irrelevant. I feel totally different. Everything takes its own time. Dwelling on the problems results in puffy eyes, not solutions.

What a way to start 2018! But I like shaky starts. All my favourite books have shaky starts. I have this book superstition that if a book has lengthy intro chapters and slow pace scenes, then there is a very high chance of it becoming one of my favourites. Somehow I managed to finish off the month hoping the coming months would be wonderful.

1. House 2. Stairway 3. Lamp place 4. Window

On my way from work, I see this abandoned house every day. I like old buildings and relics. I managed to overcome the shyness of using a camera in public and captured this. This house would have seen many things and now it stands lifeless without the inhabitants.
What once seemed to be important doesn’t exist now. The happiness, sorrows, problems were true once. But now they are no more and the house stands empty. Our problems will be no more one day. So why to worry about for what is going to be not there one day?


What’s new?!

What’s so special about January 1? Why should I care? I am not related to Janus, I am not even a European, I have my own calendar, it’s not my culture.

Ahhh!! This is what I hear more than the new year wishes. People who celebrate, think about it just for a day or more but who are against it spend more time and energy researching and criticising it live longer at that moment. The anti-new year posts appear even before the shops start to put up new year sales.

Every individual has the freedom to vary. Some celebrate it, some don’t, some speak against it and speak against those who speak against it.

Well, why should I miss another opportunity to send mass wishes to my friends and family, feel merrier, eat more sweets, have fresh hopes, reflect, and start over?

In the past year, I got a job, cleared some notable exams, started this blog ( I didn’t have a schedule and didn’t,t post regularly, though), started learning to write a new language, read some excellent books, got to know many things for the first time, bought a camera, had some wonderful moments with my childhood friends, made some new friends, had a sweet heartbreak, learnt to respect myself even more. 2017 was pretty decent.

I have no resolution except for writing the year correctly as 2018 in important documents and not 2017.

Let’s see what the next 365 days have for us.

Happy 2018!


Happy Deepavali

It’s the holiday season of the year again!! It starts in August and slowly the number of holidays increases. In September comes Navarthri, Eid and somewhere in October or November falls the Deepavali, my birthday;) and in November comes Karthigai(the real festival of lights)and as the December starts the Christmas spirit starts followed by New Year and the festival season ends with Pongal in January. This is my favourite part of the year with lots of rain, holidays, and sweets. After that, the Holidays are like sprinkles on Pizza, rain in the Indian summer month. I watch lots of YouTube, and so Thanksgiving and Halloween are now on my list of Holidays to look forward to.( I don’t know what those are, and we don’t have holidays for that, but I like watching people cooking and enjoying. Virtual Celebration!)

The months before the actual festival day, filled with anticipation, excitement, shopping, and preparation are what make it so special. And today is Deepavali which is celebrated for many reasons that I don’t care. I love it because it brings joy not only to the house but also to the whole country. The grumpy neighbour or the angry colleague or a long lost friend never hesitate to wish on this day.

We start the day with a special sesame oil massage for the head and take a bath in warm water and wear a new dress and eat a lot. Adventurous kids burst crackers and not so Brave adults like me sit inside and watch some TV with Deepavali special sweets and dance like crazy to avoid the drowsiness from all that food and sweets.

Now the day is almost over and the blues of going back to work tomorrow creeps in. Eagerly waiting for the festivals of November and December.

Featured Image : http://bestanimations.com/Holidays/Fireworks/Fireworks.html





On the way to my office, I saw two puppies sleeping next to each other holding each others paw. It was so cute that I stopped walking and stood there for a while at the cuteness until they woke up and started coming towards me. I jumped and started running, and I was the entertainment of the day for the people there. They would probably be wondering how could a grown-up woman be scared of cute little pups? I am not scared of insects or snakes. I am scared of Dogs.

It all started when I was Five. It was a cold early Sunday morning. While every other kid in the neighbourhood was still nestled in bed, my sister and I decided to play outside with my parents thinking that we were still asleep. I got bored after some time but my sister wanted to keep playing, and so I left her out. I forgot that she was still out and locked the door.

After a while, we heard a scream, and I recognised it as my sister’s, and I was scared. I remember only then that she was out and knew that something bad has happened. We saw her weeping and running towards our home. She was bitten by a dog. Poor little girl! Thankfully we had a rabies research centre in the next town, and she had to take painful injections. Everything was back to normal, but I was full of guilt, and it all turned into the phobia. From then I have been avoiding the streets and friends home where there are dogs.

After another incident, my fear for dogs grew stronger, and I officially became cynophobic. It was a street dog. It kept following. It didn’t chase or bite. It just kept copying my pace. It slowed down when I did; it stopped when I stopped, it was following me all the way long and was waiting for an hour outside. It was creepy, and I felt like living in a ghost movie. I tried finding out why dogs do that but couldn’t. If anybody knows what it is, please do share.

I want to play with dogs and befriend them, but the only thing I could do is look at the sleeping ones while my sister who was the one affected has a pet dog now and is playing happily with him.

Featured Image

Artist: Fischer, Ed


Happy Teacher’s Day!!

It has been weeks since I posted anything and I started getting dreams about it. It is a sign that I miss writing. So I decided to write today but have to maintain a posting schedule. It’s funny to think about a schedule as if people are waiting to read my posts. But discipline is important, isn’t it? Besides I read somewhere that we should forget that we are writing for others and have to write for ourselves first.

I took a new job last month and have been busy learning and getting used to the new place and people. It is fun, and I lose track of time in the office. I am posted in a rural area, and after and an eventful ride on a bus for an hour and a half I reach the place drained. As soon as we open the place, people start to rush in as if it is a park. I am not a fan of banks when I used to be a customer, and I avoid every chance I get to go there, so this surprises me. The customers are mostly elderly who are bored at home and use the place as a meeting spot. They don’t mind waiting and won’t go even after getting their work done. I enter the office by 10, and in no time 2 pm and 6 pm happens which is a good thing. Evening bus ride is even more eventful than the morning ones.

So, on my way to work today a group of teachers got on the bus on their usual stop. They were all extra cheerful and were wearing colour coordinated sarees (not the uniform)and even the otherwise dull school kids looked excited. While I was trying to figure out what it was, I got a message in a chat group wishing Teacher’s day. I wished my teacher had a little chat which brought back lots of memories of the day the whole class got punished for not behaving, the day the teacher digressed and talked about Jurassic Park, teacher’s day celebrations, occasional the day I got noticed, the day I got mentioned in class for my essays, occasional outdoor classes under the tree, school picnics and many more. It is not the enzyme kinetics or calculus but their encouragement and the life skills that they taught shaped us into what we are now.

P.S. This is a short post but something is better than nothing. My friend used to say Nothing is better than doing something nonsense. Ha ha. I believe this post makes some sense


The versatile blogger award

Hello, everyone!

I started this blog to practice writing and to connect with other bloggers. I feel honoured to be nominated and am happy to know that someone out there is reading my posts.

I thank Kathleen Jennette for this nomination.

The rules

1. Thank the person who nominated you.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself.
3. Nominate 10 other bloggers of your choice.
4. Link your nominees and let them know of your nomination.

7 facts about me

1. I like being alone reading novels.
2. I like watching youtube videos.
3. I prefer texting/ emailing to talking.
4. I like going to different places but don’t want to get on a bus/ train/ plane. I really wish apparition was true.
5. I love Rain.
6. I love the smell of new books.
7. I love to sleep.

I don’t understand the criteria for nominating. So I nominate some of the blogs that I enjoy reading.


1. The Musing Monkey

2. The pastry poet

3. Smell the coffee

4. Entry level lunatic

5. Stone on a roller coaster

6. Mum’s the word

7. In a messy world

8. Adventures of a busy mom

Visit their blogs and enjoy!

Happy writing! 🙂


Remember me?

Zhana was sitting in a coffee shop, staring blankly at the rain drops. Her favourite tea and a book were in front of her, untouched. The shop was empty with only zhana and a girl in the counter. Her contemplation of nothing was interrupted by the view of a man running towards the shop. The rain blurred his face but not height, which reminded her of somebody from her past.

when he came closer she saw his face, and her heart skipped a beat. It was Zac, her college crush which developed into love and was not expressed at all. She choked with the thoughts, that she had contained or she thought she had contained so far, that rushed in breaking the flood gates. She remembered how she went to the violin class to look at him and listen to him playing it. Other than the literature class, he was the only thing that she was interested in, in that college.

She remembered how she thought he looked at her, kept coming wherever she went, his eyes brightened whenever he saw her and also how he fell in love with another girl, and how she suffered unable to forget him, and how long it took to get over him. She felt so stupid to think that he liked her.

While she was thinking, he came in pushing the door, bringing along with him a chill gust of wind. He looked around the almost empty shop for a comfortable table. He saw her, and his eyes lit, the same way it used to. She felt it but was not ready to be fooled again, so stopped the eye contact and started pretending to read. Zac stood there for a second. Then he moved to the counter, ordered a coffee and sat at a table behind Zhara’s.

The smell of the brewing coffee filled the air bringing in the memories. He took the literature course to be with Zhana. He had developed feelings for her the very first day he saw her in the violin class. He thought she came to the class to be with him. He took the classes she took, he felt happy and lighted up whenever he saw her. He thought she liked him.

How stupid was I to think that she was interested in me? Or was she interested but I couldn’t see that? Should I have approached her like Jane approached me? Should I try talking to her at least now?

His thoughts were interrupted by the Coffee. He thanked the girl and took a sip while debating whether to talk or not. He looked at the rain trying to wash off all those memories in it. Convincing himself that she wouldn’t have even known that he existed, he finished his coffee.

Both of them were so engrossed in their thoughts that they didn’t notice the rain had stopped. They were brought back to the present by the sound of the people getting in. Sighing, they rose to leave. They looked at each other when they came to the door.Resisting their urge to talk, they left the shop.

Zhana started walking with a heavy heart. Zac stood there watching her go. He decided to talk to her. Who cares if she hadn’t known him in the past. He didn’t want to miss it this time. Zhana wanted to talk, too.

Does he recognise me? You wouldn’t know unless you ask.

Resolved, she stopped and turned. He was coming towards her. She looked at him unbelievingly. He came closer and asked, Hey Zhana. Do you remember me?

The Theme
A humiliating rejection
Brewing coffee

My recent trip

I had been procrastinating the trip to Tirupati for a year and a half inventing fake reasons for not going there. It’s a religious trip that my parents had been planning for so long, and this time none of my excuses were accepted, and I had to give in.

I like going to different places and experience the culture and climate but dislike the travelling part of the trip because long journeys on buses and trains are very taxing. I wish apparition and floo powder networks were true. Besides, I have developed some views on religion in recent days that don’t go with conservative views, and so I have a hesitation to go on a religious trip. But I convinced myself that it was a fun trip to hills in a different state where people speak a different language. I still believe in the higher energy and pray and feel better after doing it. Be it a placebo, but it’s good. Regardless of my views on religions, I like visiting temples for their architectural value, marvel at works of the skilled artists that lived some 1000 years ago.

And so we set off for a week long trip, a religious one for my parents and an adventure one for me. We covered 527 kilometres by bus and train, and the heat made my eyes sweat, but it rained then and there and calmed me down. We reached Tirupati and visited the temples in and around. I enjoyed speaking to the waiters, vendors, because of the language gap it was fun. Somehow I managed to get the orders and numbers correct using signs, and our languages have some common terms too.

Everything was normal until the day before the visit to the main temple on the hills. I started freaking out thinking of the bus ride up the hill and hairpin bends. I had climbed (by bus) many rough hills when I was little, but this 970-metre elevation gave me shivers. I made a weak attempt to cancel the trip uphill but failed.

While climbing I didn’t dare to look down the valley, but at one point I realised there is nothing to lose and what’s supposed to happen would happen, and it would be a total waste not to enjoy the moment. Even if I happen to tumble down, the last thing I see should be something beautiful and not the fear. As we moved up further, the temperature started to decrease, thanks to the thin atmosphere. We reached the hill top, and it was breezy and chill along with the sun, and there were flowers and butterflies every where. That was heavenly.


I was engrossed in this so much that I almost forgot the important and the hardest part that is yet to come. It was the darshan part. We stood in a queue that was 1000 people long and after four long hours of moving, talking to the fellow devotees, looking at the children playing, chanting Govinda Govinda, singing devotional songs we got to look at the deity. To be honest, I enjoyed the queue except for a headache and the tiredness that I got standing in it.

The trip was a success, but I should have started to enjoy it a bit earlier. We reached home, and I was exhausted, and my eye lids were shutting down like that of the Tom’s from one of the tom and jerry episodes. That night’s sleep was excellent, refreshing and peaceful. Yes, we have to earn our sleep too.


P.S. It’s a post about how I felt during the trip. It will take many posts if I have to write a tour guide, about the place, temple, history, biodiversity, etc.


Waiting at the Dental Clinic


Like most of the people, I have once had wisdom teeth and got that extracted. The pain of the extraction and stitching was far better than the interminable waiting at the doctor’s clinic. I don’t mind waiting for a delayed train, standing in a very long queue, putting my niece to sleep (it’s one of the toughest tasks), waiting for my friend who tells that she is on the way but haven’t even started. But it’s impossible for me to wait at the clinic. The unpredictable waiting time, the agony of the sickness, distressed faces of fellow patients, and Doctor’s secretary trying to mask the irritation with a smile combine and makes the wait unpleasant.

I usually get an appointment but sometimes nothing works out, and we have no other choice except to wait for hours. I went to the clinic and found that there were four people and it would take at least an hour for my turn to come. Preparing my mind, I sat on the sofa, and I didn’t dare to start a conversation with any body because they looked sullen.

I didn’t take a book with me, so I had no other option except watching the fish in the tank. Fish watching is said to lower the stress and calm down the waiting patients. The tank had a filtration system, a light, gravel and a big fish. The fish was silver in colour, an Arowana ( ha ha I browsed it) and was too big for the tank. They have bought the wrong tank, I thought. The fish had a very little swimming space and was all alone. I know nothing about pets and prefer plants to animals. So I was not sure whether the condition of the fish was okay.

I started thinking what would I have done if I were that fish in that tank. The same fish food for the whole life, the company of the filter bubbles and gravel, strangers talking to me and feeling bad for my condition, little space to stretch, kids poking the glass. No! The mere thought suffocated me. I looked away from the tank, and suddenly the uninteresting waiting room became eventful, and I was happy to wait even longer. I was happy for being me and grateful for what I had. I went to the receptionist and asked about the fish size, and she told they are planning to get a big tank. The fish sure did help me wait patiently for my turn.

Image from http://www.pristineaquariums.com.au/gallery-fresh-water.html